Everyone at work calls me the funny one. The one who always has a joke, always keeps the mood light. Nobody has ever seen me break down. Nobody has heard me scream into my pillow at 2am because the loneliness gets so loud.
I have hundreds of contacts in my phone, but when the darkness comes, I cannot think of a single person I could call. Not because they would not listen, but because I do not know how to ask.
I was taught that needing help means you are failing. I know that is a lie now. But knowing something and undoing thirty years of conditioning are two very different things.